The Thought Bouncer: Can We Really Choose Our Thoughts?

This podcast series explores a game-changing understanding of the human mind that operates ‘Before Psychology’—the Secret Source that exponentially increases peace, performance and potential for any individual or organisation.

In this episode, I’m joined by Nikki Langman, a professional speaker and emotional intelligence practitioner with 25 years’ experience in corporate HR and learning and development.

We begin with the familiar response, “I’m fine”, and explore a question we rarely ask: who is the “I” whose experience we are trying to understand, improve or manage?

Through creative projects, long-distance running and everyday decisions, we investigate the distinction between choosing happening and a separate self doing the choosing. The episode conversation brings us repeatedly back to a deeply familiar assumption: surely I can choose how I respond?

Along the way, we explore flow, the conditioned “avatar”, aperture and the case of mistaken identity. Nikki shares what happens when the mental “tapes” stop playing during a run, and closes by reflecting on what it might mean to release the reins.

Key Discussion Takeaways

• Looking before the content of “I’m fine” to the “I” itself.

• What our experiences of flow reveal about self-preoccupation.

• The difference between understanding an idea and investigating it directly.

• The assumption of a separate chooser.

• How aperture relates to creativity, resourcefulness and perceived possibilities.

• “Real but Never True”: why felt experience can be compelling without being what it appears.

• Recognising our mental tapes, including the persistent story of a self in charge.

• Neutral noticing and the possibility of releasing the need to control.

Key Chapters include:

• 06:23 — Starting with the “I”: identity, the avatar and flow

• 15:54 — Who are you beyond your descriptions?

• 25:37 — Choosing happening—but can we find a chooser?

• 37:47 — Can a thought have its own thoughts?

• 40:45 — Aperture and the case of mistaken identity

• 49:44 — “But I can choose how I respond”

• 56:03 — Activity rather than entity; Real but Never True

• 1:03:19 — Choice, decisions and obviousness

• 1:08:43 — Running beyond the mental tapes

• 1:14:34 — Defensive certainty versus clear assertiveness

• 1:19:10 — Neutral noticing

Curious? Want to know more?

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